Wednesday, December 23, 2009


Delta means change. I am a walking oxymoron when it comes to change. I really like having a routine, but mostly just at home. I love trying to think outside the box when it comes to work and church because that's where I get to be a creative (noun form, how do you like that?). If I'm working on something and there isn't a law or regulation restricting me, I'm going to get my hands dirty with it. Saying "that's the way we've always done it" tells me that you aren't committed to your mission or goal because nothing should be off limits if you're passionate about what you do. Think. Try. Fail. Rethink. Try. Discover.

In November I changed jobs and most of my reasoning for that is related to this idea. I felt totally smothered in a place that I was pretty valuable. I struggled everyday because I knew I had a vital role to play but I could be removed at any time. The pure stress was beyond anything I had ever experienced before. It was an uphill battle and the mountain grew taller as I climbed.

A couple of weeks ago I turned 30. This was the first time in a long time that the number of years actually made me think for a minute. I'm 30? What does my life look like compared to other 30 year olds?

A friend of mine turned 30 once and He went to a wedding in Cana. The party was crazy awesome and they kicked the keg much earlier than anticipated. His mom was there and she told the caterers to do whatever He said. He tried to get out of it because He thought it wasn't the right time to start His "business" but He did it anyway.

A week later He went nose to nose with the bigwigs at his office. They were doing some shady, corrupt stuff so He started smashing furniture and yelling at them for screwing up the whole business model. They thought He was crazy.

I doubt anyone would confuse me with Him but He brought DELTA in a way that I want to bring it. Do people think I'm crazy? Probably not enough, but I'm working on it. I'm 30, He was 30. It's about time.

Choose Wisely

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Coming up for Air

That's how I feel this morning. Like I was sitting on the bottom of a lake and not sure how to get back to the surface. It was dark and scary with monsters all around me. This past weekend, I spent most of it at my computer working on two separate final papers for school. Each supposed to be at least 6 pages, which is not really terrible. Despite my ability to complete the work, it seems that the way I work through these things doesn't seem to make any sense.

Quick sidebar, I can blame some of the procrastination on my brother for visiting me the weekend before and totally burning half of my Saturday that was blocked out for homework. But ultimately, I know that I would not have done much anyway because that would have made too much sense. Plus the fact that we had some good times playing Tecmo Bowl on the NES emulator and catching Switchfoot @ the TLA. (here is his blog on his trip)

So this weekend, in the middle of the Christmas prep season, in the middle of a New England-esque snow storm, in the middle of battling my attention span that usually wants to NOT be writing papers, I sat. And I sat. I got up to stretch and try out some of Kim's baking adventures (all good, btw). And I sat. I throw down a paragraph, and then I play Mafia Wars. I copy and paste a quote, and then I check the football scores. I set mini deadlines all through the weekend and I watch them go by at warp speed.

This is my method. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but at 11:58 pm on Monday night, I was emailing my last report to the professor. It's not how I planned it, but I got it done. I am not very good at tricking myself into working ahead when it comes to homework. I'm sure that I am not the only who struggles with this, but it still drives me crazy. Hopefully it's the only thing that I procrastinate on so consistently because I'd like to think the rest of my life is staying on schedule. And now I will rejoin my life, already in progress. It's going to be a great couple of weeks.

I'm still only scratching the surface of all the bloggable things going on right now, so stay tuned.

Choose Wisely

Monday, December 14, 2009

Monday, December 7, 2009

Hearty Updates

Over 7 months since the last post if you're keeping track at home. I suppose I'm getting used to doing the Facebook & Twitter updates which are so much easier and quicker to keep up with. Plus, Kim has blogged a few times about our adventures so I sort of let that count for me too. I think I can do better, so I will try. My new job isn't killing me like the last one (more about this some other time) so that should ease the stress and allow a little more time to write posts. This next year should be worth blogging about.

For now, I just wanted to write up an update on the heart issues. It wasn't long after my last post that I experienced palpitations yet again, so it would appear that the second location of atrial tachycardia that they discovered during the EP study is still affecting me. I don't remember exactly when, but around June I went back on medication, Toprol, for a couple months. When soccer season arrived and I starting running around more, I realized that the medicine made me uncomfortable because it limited my heart rate (go figure, that's what it's supposed to do). It's hard to explain in words but it was just difficult to rest and recover once I got everything heated up.

I went back to the doctor and he switched me to Atenolol and cut it to a small dose of 12 mg. This was perfect for my exercise needs but it was not strong enough to block the palpitations. Actually, I was ok with that. I'd rather have the palpitations than feel so restricted by the medication, I could just feel the un-naturalness of it all. But, the doctor didn't like it, so we switched again to a low dose of Verapamil.

This one was fine for exercise but still did not block the palpitations. However, there are higher doses that I may try next month. Currently, I'm taking 120 mg of Verapamil and 25 mg of Atenolol, per his orders, but I will run out of Verapamil in about a week (I'm in insurance limbo during December). I'm sure the Atenolol will hold me over just fine until I visit the doc again and we figure out what to do next. I really did not want to be on a daily drug for the rest of my life, but it doesn't seem like I have another option right now. December will be light on exercise anyway, so I won't have to fight with my limited heart rate too much. More on this topic in the New Year.

Choose Wisely